


Inevitability is in our Blood

by Gennebra



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/F, Hogwarts Forbidden Forest, Hurt/Comfort, I just really wanted to write a harry potter au, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:22:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23119174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gennebra/pseuds/Gennebra
Summary: Clarke walks into the Forbidden Forest and ends up with more than she bargained for when she meets a mysterious woman living there.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Costia/Lexa (The 100)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Inevitability is in our Blood

**Author's Note:**

> This fic wouldn't leave me alone so I had to write it. Please note my rather weak attempt at British slang and feel free to tell me to remove something or add something, that also applies for grammar mistakes. Mind the warning for violence as there's a rather explicit scene talking about a certain murder, discussions of prejudice and illness. 
> 
> Enjoy reading!

Clarke has been walking for hours before she admits to herself that she is lost, around her, the Forbidden Forest has grown darker and she begins to consider her options. She can't apparate because of the anti-Apparation wards that extend far into the forest, if she sent a flare there’s no saying what (or who) would see it, and she is not yet desperate enough to send a Patronus and make the headmistress come to save her sorry arse. She should have taken Hagrid on his offer to come with her or at least have told him she would come to the forest today. She decides to search a little bit more before she sends her lioness to Minerva. 

She is sure she saw some Shivrelfig growing on a small pond the last time she came to the forest and due to a shortage at the apothecary coupled with a particularly foul game of Quidditch that had left them with none after they brewed more healing potions after their stocked ones were over had given her the brilliant idea to come to the forest and get them herself. 

Her robes snag on a low branch and trip her, making her fall in a small puddle of mud. She is cursing her stupidity rather loudly when she hears something moving in the foliage and freezes. The one small mercy fate had given her is that she saw nothing else in the forest but it seems her luck has run out. She moves her hand to her robes and wraps her hand around her wand and when the figure emerges from the trees she shoots a stunner at it but they duck and her spell hits a rock.

“Motherf-” The figure turns out to be a woman and Clarke relaxes momentarily only to tense up again. Just because they are not a dark creature doesn’t mean they are any less dangerous or evil. Clarke learnt that lesson well during the war.

Clarke trains her wand on her and the woman stops moving and raises her hands in surrender. “Who are you and what do you want?” Clarke asks

“I’m Lexa, I mean you no harm I swear. I live nearby and I heard you when you fell so I came to see if you’re alright. Are you?"

“What? You mean I’m I all right? Uh yeah, I’m just muddy. And lost.”

“Can I come closer?” Her hands are still raised high and Clarke does need help; her body is aching and she thinks her fall was worse than she first thought.

“Yes.” She lowers her wand but makes sure to keep a firm grip on it. Lexa comes closer with her hands still up and crouches close to her. Under the rapidly disappearing light, Clarke can make out her large green eyes.

“Can you stand up?” Lexa asks. Clarke tries to, putting her hands on the ground to lever herself up only to fall back down when the smallest amount of weight on her foot makes pain shoot up her leg. Lexa observes it all without saying a word and stands up, offering a hand to pull her up. “We can go to my cabin to take a look at it if you want or I can firecall McGonagall.” 

Clarke considers her offers and takes Lexas hand. “We can go to your house if you don’t mind, I can probably cure whatever I did to myself and Minerva is horribly busy.” And has no idea I was doing something so stupid she adds mentally. She is not looking forward to the scolding the headmistress will give her.

They head towards down a worn path Clarke supposes is the way to Lexa’s house. She could, of course, be leading her to her grisly end there or somewhere else. They walk for a few minutes, with Lexa bearing most of her weight until they reach a small cottage. Clarke takes a few moments to look at it and is surprised to see how well kept everything is. There are trimmed bushes and well-kept flowers, the cottage itself is extremely cute, with flower planters on the white windows. 

Lexa leads her through the Robin egg blue door and helps her lower herself into a blue striped couch. There’s a white throw blanket and an open book on her side and a steaming porcelain cup on the sturdy-looking coffee table and Clarke supposes she disturbed Lexas night with her idiocy.

“I’m sorry for troubling you.” 

Lexa shakes her head and smiles “It's no problem. I’m going to get a basin for you to wash your hands and some Dittany for the cuts.”

“Cuts?” Clarke raises her hands closer and sees that they are indeed bleeding. She must have cut them while trying to break her fall. “I hadn’t felt it. How did you know?” 

Lexa only gives her a tense smile and leaves. Clarke shrugs and goes about assessing the damage. She raises her robes and takes off her left boot but leaves her stocking. They are covered in mud up to her knees, their green replaced with muck and things she doesn't want to think about. She syphons all the mud covering her with her wand and brings her knee closer to her body to inspect her ankle. Thankfully it’s only twisted and a quick charm fixes it. She hears a sharp intake of breath and looks up to see that Lexa is back with a porcelain basin on her hands and is looking at her with wide eyes. Clarke hastens to fix her clothes and fights off a blush.

Lexa approaches her and offers her the basin. The water is pleasantly warm and turns brownish with the blood and the mud, once she is done Lexa deposits it with her now cold tea and drags a chair over, pours the dittany on a clean cloth and holds her hand out. Clarke gives her her right hand, which had taken most of the damage, palm up.

Lexa is gentle and methodic, cleaning the wound while causing her barely any pain. 

“I reckon you should work with me at the castle. I’m the matron you see.” 

The fireplace casts a soft glow behind Lexa and her eyes are warm when she smiles at Clarke. “I know. I’ve seen you when I went there to talk to the headmistress.”

Clarke doesn’t remember seeing her and it must be clear to see from her expression because Lexa follows up with “You were scolding some of the students for hexing each other on the halls, one of them was puking frogs or something.” That she remembers. Two boys one from Slytherin and one from Gryffindor who had both caught detention for their little stunt only to get another detention when a few days later they were caught making out after curfew. Lexa snorts when she tells her and asks for more funny stories from the students. 

They talk more and Lexa makes them tea and it’s only when an owl hoots outside that Clarke realizes that night has completely fallen and that if Minerva didn’t know she was gone before by now she definitely is aware. 

“I have to go” She stands up and tests her ankle but doesn’t feel even a twinge. “Before they send a search party or something.”

Lexa stands up as well “I can walk you back to the castle but the forest is alive at night and it’s pretty dangerous. You can spend the night if you want and I take you there first thing in the morning.”

It’s on the tip of her tongue to say no but Lexa certainly has a point. Most of the creatures are dangerous and nocturnal and even scarier is the thought of meeting her former professor. She wonders if McGonagall would fire her if she saw her now. Fired on her first year as matron. Her mother would probably dishenhit her. 

“Alright. I have to firecall the headmistress though.”

What follows is her most embarrassing conversation with Minerva thus far, the headmistress conveying her disappointment in her thoughtlessness. On the background, she can hear the other professors grumbling and saying they’re going back to bed. When she tells her where she is tough, Minerva's face grows slightly softer.

“Tell Lexa to come up to the castle with you will you.”

She says she will tell Lexa when they are done, Lexa having left the room to give her some privacy. 

She finds her in the kitchen, taking something out of the oven.

“Do you eat meat?” Asks Lexa. “I made mincepie”

“I do, it looks delicious.” Lexa just gives her a pleased little smile.

There’s a small table and Lexa gestures for her to sit down. She brings the pie and rummages on the cupboard, taking a few wooden bowls and setting one in front of Clarke and one for herself. 

“Beer?” At Clarke’s yes Lexa pours two cups from a small barrel and sits down. She carves the pie and gives Clarke a hefty serving, with food in front of her Clarke realizes how hungry she is, her stomach growling to show its discontentment. Lexa doesn’t say anything it, only telling for her to eat.

“What were you doing in the forest anyway?” Lexa asks as she gives Clarke her second serving. 

So much had happened that Clarke had almost forgotten about the reason she found herself in her company in the first place. “Looking for an ingredient for replenishing my healing potion inventory. I was sure I saw some here but I didn’t find it anywhere and got spectacularly lost”

“What ingredient was it?”

“Shivrelfig.”

“Oh.” Lexa stands up. “Wait here for a bit will you.” She leaves through the backdoor connected to the kitchen. Clarke keeps eating her third serving and when Lexa is not back in a few minutes she casts a warming charm on her plate. 

She is almost finished when Lexa comes back with a large sack in her hands. She is about to ask when Lexa hands it to her. “What is it?” She asks. Lexa just tells her to open.  
Inside there are purple fruits. It takes her a few seconds to recognize them as Shivrelfigs. She looks disbelieving to Lexa. “Where did you get these?”

“My greenhouse. I grow a few things here, mostly the ones I find on the forest.”

“Can I see it?”

“Sure”

Lexa`s greenhouse is small but has a little of everything. There’s even a couple of mandrakes that Lexa tells her are quite useful to keep around because every once in a while someone ends up petrified, that a few years back it was almost an epidemy and they thought they had a basilisk hanging around until it suddenly stopped. 

“Things are like that over here, with so many magical creatures thrown together odd things are bound to happen.”

“Not so different from Hogwarts them. One has to question the sanity of the founders because it’s quite mental to throw a bunch of young wizards together in the same place for the better part of a year.”

Lexa laughs but it’s short-lived and she looks a little upset after. Clarke wonders what she did wrong. They spend a few more minutes in the greenhouse but the easygoing atmosphere is over and she tells her hostess that she is tired.

“You can have my bed and I sleep on the couch,” Lexa says back in the house “ I have some more pillows around here somewhere.”

“No way Lexa, I have already imposed on you enough. I can just transfigure the couch if that’s alright with you.”

“Transfigure? Oh right. I guess that’s alright. If you could only, you know, make it a couch again after.” She has a weird expression on her face, eyebrows scrunched together and lips pursed. Clarke figures she is not much good at transfiguration.

They say their goodnights and Clarke sinks into her bed with a content sigh. The night is filled with the sounds of the forest at night, owls screeching and wind hustling through the trees. Every once in awhile she hears a wolf howling and it should all be terrifying but oddly she feels safer than she has in a good long while.

\----------  
Clarke wakes up to the smell of cooking bacon and stretches lazily. She tries to take the wrinkles of her robes the best she can but she was never very good at household charms to her father’s amusement. She makes a note to visit him in St Mungus soon.

At the kitchen, Lexa already has plates set up and Clarke’s throat goes a little dry when she sees the nightgown that she is wearing. Lexas has many tattoos, there’s an infinity symbol on her neck, her hair bound up by her wand. When she turns around and moves to the table the gown moves, showing a slender leg.

“Bacon?” Asks Lexa. Clarke only manages to nod in response and Lexa gives her a little smile.

They east mostly in silence and when they are done she helps Lexa with the dishes which they do by hand, which is a new experience for Clarke. She is starting to realize she never saw Lexa cast any spell and that she has only just seen her wand. She didn’t even have it out when Clarke had hers pointed at her chest. 

Lexa goes to her bedroom and comes back wearing muggle clothes; a soft-looking flannel button-up and a pair of worn jeans with knee-high brown boots. 

“You don’t have to come you know, I’m sure I can find my way there now.”

“Its fine Clarke, besides McGonagall wants to see me right?” 

“Did you hear it last night?”

“Yeah, I have pretty good hearing.” Says Lexa

She has just closed the door behind her when they hear the sound of hooves, coming in their direction. Lexa tenses up and moves in front of her. Clarke shoves her hand in her pocket and is about to draw her wand when Lexa puts a hand on her arm and shakes her head. She has not relaxed though so Clarke keeps her wand in her pocket but her hand in it too. 

A centaur appears and moves in a sedate pace in their direction. He has a bald, tattooed head and is carrying a bow. His face is expressionless but his eyes linger on her and Clarke has the impression he is not very happy.

“Greetings Lexa. I see you have company.”

“Titus. This is Clarke Griffin, she is Hogwarts Matron.” Clarke wonders why she emphasizes the school’s name. Titus nods but says nothing to her.

“I only came here to see you because tomorrow is the full moon and I wanted to know if you were able to procure the potion.”

Lexa tenses up even more and it takes Clarke a minute to put it all together. Lexa’s cabin was too far from where Clarke fell for a human to hear and she probably smelt the blood on her hands under all that mud.

She takes an unconscious step back and doesn’t miss the brief look of hurt in Lexas expressive green eyes.

“I’m thankful for your concern Titus. I was not able to afford the potion this time so I will be joining the pack later today.” She says trough her teeth. “Now I have to lead miss Griffin back home if you will excuse me.”

Lexa doesn’t wait for a response only turns around and walks fast, Clarke struggling to catch up. Clarkes mind is still reeling from the knowledge that Lexa is Werewolf, that said Werewolf cooked her dinner and breakfast and gave her potion ingredients and offered her bed. She is still trying to reconcile these images with the ones from the battle of Hogwarts, from the grievous wounds left by Greyback and his followers, when they reach the end of the forest. 

“Here we are. I trust you can reach the castle on your own.” And turns to leave.

“Lexa wait!” On her haste, Clarke grabs her wrist. Lexa looks at her hand and Clarke quickly lets go of it. “Minerva wants to talk to you remember?”

“I will come another time,” Lexa says. Her voice and face closed off. 

“Don’t be silly you’re already here.” Clarke doesn’t know what she is doing, arguing with a Werewolf but she had liked Lexa almost instantly and the thought of parting like this bothers her. Lexa still looks closed off and hasn’t even fully turned around “Please” she tries.

Lexa stays tense but nods and starts walking towards the castle. Something inside her that she didn’t even realize was tight unclenched and she can breathe easier.

The student’s breakfast time is almost over and she really should be getting back to her duties but her feet stubbornly refuse to move away from Lexa and she follows her to the Headmistress office, the Gargoyle jumping aside to let them pass. 

McGonagall tells her she is glad to see her alive and well in a rather dry tone and shoos her back to the infirmary. Clarke hesitates a little but there’s no reason for her to stay so she says goodbye to Lexa. She says it back but doesn’t look at her and Clarkes stomach plummets. 

Things in the infirmary ran smoothly enough without her, her apprentices being their usual non-nonsense selves, and she only has to liberate the few Quidditch players from Hufllepuff who were still under observation. She makes sure to keep busy starting to brew the healing potions with the Figs Lexa gave her.

She is about to go to bed when McGonagall shows up.

“Headmistress,” She says politely “How can I help you?”

“None of that child, call me Minerva. I was just wondering if you’d have tea with me and tell me about your little adventure.”

Clarke feels her cheeks heat and hastens to make the tea. They settle on the little sitting-room adjacent to her chambers. She was impressed when madam Pomfrey showed her her new chambers, the apprentice quarters were comfortable enough but the Matron was afforded a huge, comfortable space. 

When she finishes regaling Minerva with the tale from her search the Headmistress puts her cup down and looks straight into her eyes and Clarke knows she is about to make the actual purpose of her visit clear.

“Lexa is such a great woman wouldn’t you say? I mean she stayed so kind after having such a hard life. I can only imagine how hard it must be for her to live with all the prejudice Wizarding society heaps on those they consider different. It must be awful to be judged for things she has no control about wouldn’t you say?”

Clarke can only nod, her heart clenching at the memory of Lexas hurt expression. McGonagall finishes her tea and bids her goodnight.

Clarke tosses and turns unable to sleep, and is only able to when she conjures the memory of the sounds around Lexa’s cottage.

In the morning she owls the apothecary and tracks Slughorn down.

\-----  
The way to Lexa’s cottage is incredibly easy, the forest seemingly making sure she has a smooth path forward. Clarke has certainly seen stranger things.

She hesitates on Lexas front door but takes a deep breath and knocks. She is sure that if Lexa is close she would have heard her coming anyway. She waits and when she is pretty sure Lexa is not going to answer, the door opens. 

“Clarke” Lexa’s eyes are guarded “What are you ding here?”

“Hi, Lexa can I come in?” She hesitates for a second but gestures for her to come in. Clarke’s shoulder brushes against her hair when she passes.

“Can I offer you some tea? Or biscuits? They’re just out of the oven.” Gracious as ever Clarke notes.

“Yes please,” Lexa tells her to sit on the couch and she does.

Once the biscuits and the tea are on the coffee table Lexa drags a chair over and sits down. It could be the first time she was here Lexa even wearing the same clothes she was then if not for the silence and the heavy atmosphere. Clarke notes that Lexa was much more comfortable with a near-stranger than she is now.

“First I would like to apologize for how I reacted. It’s not fair of me to judge you for something that you have no control over and I’m deeply ashamed for falling in the same old prejudices.”

“Its alright Clarke. You didn’t say anything wrong.” She stops and seems to be struggling with something “Its just… you smelled terrified.”

“Oh.” Does Lexa smell emotions? She doesn’t remember ever reading that about Werewolves. “Oh.” She repeats dumbly.

“We don’t smell everything, mind you, just some of the more strong emotions and we can usually tell if people are lying.” Lexa’s mouth snaps shut, Clarke is not a Werewolf but she can hear her teeth clacking with the force.

“Oh.” Clarke winces “I was not terrified of you, not really.” She lets Lexa hear the truth in her words. “It’s just that I was there you know, during The Batlle. I saw them, Greyback and the other, attacking people and later I had to treat the wounds they left behind and when Titus said the bit about the potion I just remember it all.”

Lexa winces “That’s fair. What they did was, well, monstrous.”

“It was, but that has nothing to do with you. Or other Werewolves. It’s not fair of me to just bundle you all in the same little group and leave it at that. Some of my housemates were actively participating on Voldemorts side of the war and it drives me crazy when people do that to us, condemn us all as death eaters so I really should know better. So I want to apologize again because you deserve better than that.”

“I- you’re forgiven, Clarke” Clarke cannot hear if that’s true so she hopes. 

“Also now that you mentioned Titus I have something for you.” Clarke rummages around her purse and pulls out a large bottle. “Wolfsbane potion.”

Lexas face goes through a bunch of emotions rapidly; surprised, angry and in the end, she makes her face blank. Not what Clarke was hoping for. 

“There’s no need for that Clarke, I’m more than capable of handling my transformations and besides I don’t want your pity” She almost spits out the last word.

“It’s not pity Lexa.” Her face is still closed off “No really listen to me, it’s not pity. It`s thanks and I’m sorry, It`s the only way I thought besides apologizing to make up to you for being an absolute git and as thanks for saving my arse. Without you, something would probably have eaten me and I don’t want my headstone to say that I was killed by an Acromantula or something.” 

She waits with bated breath. Lexa’s mouth twitches slightly. “Afraid of spiders are we?” Her tone is teasing “Of all the things on this forest you were most afraid of some spiders. What would your patients say?”

“Shut up” Clarke is relieved. She throws a pillow at her which Lexa catches with a cheeky little grin.

“But this is too much Clarke, the potion costs a small fortune. All I did was give you some food and some figs.”

“It wasn’t that expensive; since we usually make big orders the apothecary gave me a big discount and I brewed it myself, you don’t have to worry though because I got Slughorn to check it every step of the way.” Clarke has heard about the devastating effects of Wolfsbane brewed wrong. “You can trust his potion abilities”

“I trust you” Lexa is looking at her with such an earnest expression that Clarke feels once again ashamed of how she reacted. The past is the past though, so she vows to do to better in the future.

She spends the rest of the day with Lexa.

\-------  
On the days that she has off Clarke makes sure to visit Lexa. They see each other every other day as well because Lexa had wanted to give her some ingredients to make up for the Wolfsbane and in response, Clarke had started to order some supplies from her and bullied Slughorn into doing the same. Lexa makes the deliveries in person and sometimes sticks around the Infirmary.

Every month a week before the full moon Clarke makes the track to Lexa’s cabin and delivers her potion. She has become somewhat of a master at it, and whenever she can she tries to make some improvements to the taste of the potion, which has become one of her side projects. She hasn’t had much success until Christmas time is upon them but she is not one to give up.

Two weeks before Christmas eve she bundles up and casts as many warming charms on herself as she can without setting herself on fire and leaves the walls of Hogwarts. She has become quite accustomed to the forest but makes sure to always keep her wand ready but with very few exceptions she has never seen anything besides Lexa on it.

Lexa’s cottage looks even prettier on the snow, the smoke leaking out of the chimney making it more inviting than ever. Lexa opens the door when she gets closer.

“Come in Clarke I made your favourite” She smiles one of her little smiles and goes back inside.

Clarke tries to go as fast as she can, skidding on the snow every so often but she makes it safely. Inside Lexa brings out the tea and puts it on the table she made after it became clear Clarke wasn’t just about to bugger off and goes back for the cakes. 

over the months, Clarke has learned some about her Werewolf friend. Lexa was abandoned on the forest and raised by the centaurs more specifically by Titus, she only got her wand seven years ago, one of the first sold by Olivander after the war. She never got any wizarding teaching so that’s why she is not very good at transfiguration or charms but she is great at Herbology and potions and smugly told Clarke that she is much better at wandless magic than most wizards three times her age. During the war, she was in the forest and during The Battle, her first house was smashed to pieces by a giant. She never talks about the girl on the picture hanging over her fireplace or Titus, who never visited after that first time, at least not when Clarke is around.

Lexa seems to have fully adapted to her life as a Werewolf, with all the exclusion it entails. She grows all her food, makes all her furniture, built her houses herself. Everything else she needs she buys either by Owl order or on the Muggle world.

She says that she doesn’t own an Owl or a dog but an Eagle Owl that she calls Helena makes deliveries for her when it feels like it and a large dog that Clarke is sure has wolf blood hangs around the cottage from time to time. Clarke has been trying to win him over but Gustus only ever allows Lexa close.

Helena is on her perch today and opens an eye to look at her when says hi but doesn’t react otherwise. Lexa comes back with the cakes and Clarke steals one before she can even set them on the table. 

“Rude” Lexa chides but lets her get away with it.

They talk about their days, Lexa sharing that her Alconyte is going well despite earlier setbacks and Clarke fills her in on Noah and Malcolm’s latest relationship drama.

“They had a huge fight outside the Great Hall with all of us watching but when Noah turned his back to leave Malcolm grabbed his hand and spun him around and gave him a great big kiss. Guess what happened next?”

“No!”

“Yes! Noah hexed him and Malcolm was once again puking frogs. I’m pretty sure I saw some money exchanging hands on his table, those Gryffindors are always betting on something or the other.” She doesn’t mention that Slytherin did as well. She has her house pride after all. “They both got detention. Again.”

Lexa lets out a little laugh but as always it’s short-lived. Clarke has yet to see her fully smiling or laughing freely.

“Anyway Lexa my visit of today has a very specific motive” She steels herself “I was wondering if you wanted to spend Christmas with us.”

As expected, Lexa immediately becomes closed off. Clarke had thought long and hard about this offer though and while she refuses to pressure Lexa into it she will also say her piece and hope for the best.

“It will only be me, dad and mum. And you, if you want.” Lexa still hasn’t said anything so Clarke does what every self-respecting Slytherin would do: she beats a hasty retreat. “Right. I’ve got to go back to the castle. Just owl me your answer. Bye” 

Before Lexa can say anything Clarke rushes to the castle. On her way back a branch hits her square in the face.

“Yeah. I’m not too happy with myself either.” She says clutching her nose. The Forest doesn’t answer but Clarke finds her path to the castle much more difficult than usual.

She cleans the infirmary herself refusing the house-elves help and snaps at one of her apprentices, bringing the poor girl almost to tears. Clarke forces herself to take a calming breath and apologizes.

On the morning Helena brings Lexa’s response along with a cake. Clarke practically rips the letter open and the owl hoots her disapproval.

Yes. 

That’s all it says and it’s little ridiculous that Clarke does a little happy dance after reading it.

\--------------  
On her next day off Clarke leaves the Castle grounds and apparates to her parent’s house.

Abigail and Jacob Griffin live in a big house near St Mungos that they bought after the war. It’s much smaller than Clarke’s childhood home that had to be sold to pay for her mother’s mad research for a cure for her dad’s maladies.

Jake looks healthier than he has for seven years thanks to it so it’s more than worth it. Her dad will never be cured, but her mom managed to find him a treatment that works and it will be the first Christmas in three years that her dad spends home. This year Clarke put her name up for the rotation during Christmas, usually spending all Christmas break on the Castle taking care of the students who stayed. 

There are still many students left behind, still too many war orphans.

She hugs her dad tight and smacks a wet kiss on her mother’s cheek who swats at her.

“Now now Abby, it’s that way to treat our favourite daughter?” Her dad makes tsk sounds.

“I’m your only daughter dad.”

“That you know of dear.” Says Jake.

Her mom only watches them with a fond expression. “Dinner will be ready in a few Clarke. It’s good to have you home honey.”

Abby cooked them a healthy dinner, carrots and brussels sprouts plenty. They found after a few episodes that certain types of food set the curse off, including all types of red meat and most sweets. Her mom and she had scrambled to find new recipes that were still good and embraced their new lifestyle completely.

Her dad misses cauldron cakes the most, but milk mixed with chocolate unerringly sends him to St. Mungos. It`s also Clarke’s favourite so she can sympathize.

She waits for dinner to be over, which will put them in a better mood before she tells them that they need to talk. She brews them coffee just the way they like it and meets them in the living room. 

She sits on the armchair opposing the cream coloured couch her parents are on and crosses her ankles just the way her mom told her to when she was younger. It’s she who she is worried about the most, her beautiful mom and her pureblooded high society ways.

“Remember when I asked you if I could bring a guest to Christmas?”

“Are we about to finally find out more about or future son or daughter-inlaw?” Asks her dad.

“It’s not like that, Lexa is just a friend”

“Lexa huh? Where does she work?” Asks her mom. 

“Well, she doesn’t work anywhere but she supplies ingredients for the school.” Merlin’s purple pointed beard, she thinks, that did not sound like she intended “Lexa is great, she built her own house and her furniture, she is insanely creative and talented and all-around one of the best people I’ve ever met. She has a greenhouse where she can raise anything and she didn’t even want to charge us for anything that we needed, I had to practically hex Slughorn when he tried to take advantage of her” McGonagall had tapped her wand on the table and between Clarke and the Headmistress Slughorn had paid double of the price the ingredients were worth. “Shes-”

“Alright Honey you’ve made your point, we won’t judge Lexa for it. Now there’s anything else you’d like to add?” Says her mom.

“Yeah. She’s a Werewolf.” She winces at just blurting it outright, but that was the only stipulation Lexa had made for coming; that her parents would be aware of who they had under their roof.

The answering silence is almost deafening. Her parents look shocked but she can see her mom beginning to open her mouth to say something when her dad puts his hands on her knee.

“Would you give us a moment Clarke?”

She nods and practically runs up the stairs. Her bed is the same as always and she throws herself on it letting the familiar smell comfort her. 

She had prepared herself for the worse but it still makes her a little sick to her stomach to think of her mom judging Lexa even before she meets her. Abby never sided with Voldemort but from time to time she sprouts the same bigoted views she grew up hearing. It had severely diminished after she discovered that Clarke and Jake were informants for the Order after one of her childhood friends cursed her husband so thoughtfully that he would never fully recover. Still, from time to time it does happen, small things that she didn’t even realize are prejudiced.

Clarke doesn’t think she is in any position to judge. Before meeting Lexa she had never thought much about the rights of creatures like Werewolves and Centaurs and House-elves, only after hearing Lexa talk about her problems with the Ministry of Magic, how she had to justify her existence in every corner, how things Clarke takes for granted are only Lexas if she fights for them and even then only with restrictions or not at all, how most of the time she can’t even fight for herself having to rely on wizards like Minerva to make sure she is heard.

Lexa is smart and good and kind but none of these things seems to matter.

She hugs her stuffed Manticore and screams into its fake fur and maybe even cries a little bit for all the things Lexa has had to suffer this far, the ones she told Clarke and the ones she hasn’t.

Somebody knocks on her door and she hastily dries her eyes and tells them to come in. Her dad closes the door behind him and slowly lowers himself on the edge of her bed. Clarke has to bite her cheek to restrain the urge to help him, but that was one of the few requests Jake had ever made of them; that they only tried to help him when he asked for it.

“Lexa is more than welcome to Christmas.” He says calmly.

“Mom won’t do or say anything bad?”

“She won’t, I promise Kiddo.” Clarke hugs him feeling each of his ribs sticking out.

“I’m sorry dad. That I wasn’t here and that I didn’t do more for you” She feels the guilt she always carries around almost chocking her “I’m so very sorry.” 

Her dad rests his chin on the top of her head “You have to stop punishing yourself, Clarke. I made you promise to, remember? That you wouldn’t let it all take over your life like it took over your moms. The only way is forward Clarke.”  
\---------  
She and her mom almost drive each other crazy on Christmas with preparations while her dad takes over his role as a conciliator and also drives Clarke to distraction by turning the radio on the Christmas station. On the tenth repeat, Celina Werbecks voice is like torture but Jake spins Abby around getting flour on them all and Clarke couldn’t be happier.

She is not so pleased when they start kissing each other like lovesick teenagers.

When the doorbell rings Clarke takes one last look around and rushes to answer the door.

Lexa is wearing a soft-looking sweater under a black leather jacket and jeans -she tells Clarke she doesn’t feel cold thanks to her “werewolfiness”- and carrying a white box and a bottle of wine.

“Clarke,” She says “Thank you for having me”

Clarke tries to keep a stupid smile out of her face “Always a pleasure Lexa” She takes the white box out of her hands and tells her to come in.

“That’s for Mr Griffin” 

“What is it?” She has to resist the urge to shake it.

“Cauldron cakes,” Says Lexa sounding nervous.“I know your dad cant have the traditional ones so I made them with almond milk.”

“That’s great Lexa” Clarke and her mom had tried all recipes under the sun but none of them tasted the same and Jake looked ever so miserable after having them that they stopped trying, but if anyone can get it right she would bet all the contents of her Gringotts vault that it would be Lexa.  
Abby and Jake greet Lexa warmly and her mom is delighted to get the incredibly expensive wine their guest bought.

They exchange pleasantries until the turkey is ready. The meal is an extremely pleasant affair with her mom refraining from making any snide comments and her dad making worse than usual jokes that always bring a smile to Lexas face. Once its time for dessert they all hold their breath when Jake takes a tentative bite of one of the cauldron cakes. 

Her dad looks up at them with an unreadable expression “Its so so good I cannot even believe it.” And proceeds to stuff his face.

Clarke reaches over and takes one and has to agree with her dad, it’s even better than the traditional recipe. They finish of them way too soon and Lexa gives her her biggest smile yet as she watches them.

Clean up is also interesting, with Jake trying to teach her and Lexa household spells. Clarke as always is rubbish at them but Lexa picks them up with ease and can make the dishes all spotless even making some of the silvery shiny. The look of wonder in her face makes her want to cry some more and Lexa must smell that because she gives Clarke a questioning look, but she only shakes her head and gives her a tremulous smile.

They set her up on the guest room but later Lexa knocks on her door.

“Lexa? is everything alright? Come in”

“Everything is fine Clarke I just wanted to thank you for inviting me." She seems to hesitate for a little bit."This is the first time since the war that I celebrated Christmas" And doesn't elaborate.

Clarke holds her tongue and files this away, on the part of her brain that greedily hoards every little bit of information about Lexa.

"Then I’m even gladder I asked and I’m also thankful that you came. I don’t have words that are enough to tell you how much it means to me that you made those cakes for dad. We got used to our new normal but I know little things like that make him sadder than going yo the hospital ever does." She is glad for that but that’s not really what she wants to say. She wants to tell Lexa that she is enough that her mere presence means the world to her but she knows from previous experience that too much emotion makes Lexa uncomfortable.

"Get out of my door and come in Lexa"

They settle down on Clarke’s bed and talk until sunrise. Lexa falls asleep first and Clarke is left watching the soft early sunlight hitting Lexa, how her hair becomes an almost different colour. What strikes her the most is how relaxed Lexa looks, how the sharp angles of her face look softer, how there is no hint of a frown to be found.

She slips into the dreamworld without realizing and dreams of a bright girl in a better world and the impression of soft lips against hers. When she wakes up she waits for the dream to slip from her mind like they usually do but it sticks to the back her mind like glue.

…………..  
Lexa decides to stick around for her week off and she and Clarke decide to explore Muggle London. They go to pubs and cafes and the movies and when Lexa is showing something called Id to a bouncer she gets a look at her surname and can’t help but laugh.

"Lexa Woods? Are you shitting me?" She asks even as she has to confound the poor man.

Lexa gives her an impish little smile "If I said it was Titus idea would you believe me?"

"No."

"You know me far too well."

Her parents showered them both with gifts so the Clarke and Lexa that make their way back to Hogwarts are carrying more and way heavier trunks than the ones who left it. 

"You’d think at least one of us would be able to do an extender charm but no"

Lexa just snorts, her fancy muscles more than able to carry her load while Clarke’s trunks keep hitting each other as they levitate.

It annoys her to no end so she puts her wand in her pocket, leans down and starts gathering snow in her hands. When Lexa stops and turns around, probably to ask why she stopped, Clarke hits her right in the face with her snowball.

Lexa freezes on her spot and her expression becomes the blank canvas that Clarke so hates but when Clarke is about to apologize Lexa lets go of the handles of both her trunks, one of them cracking open making her clothes spill all over the pavement makes the world fastest snowball and throws it at her with a predatory grin.

"Run"

Clarke does. They chase each other all over the grounds startling a cheerful Hagrid and a bunch of students. Clarke makes up for their disparity in strength and accuracy with the use of her wand casting protector spells and making snowballs with it. Eventually, they reach the edge of the forbidden forest and Clarke trips once again in a root, falling on her side in a small clearing. 

"Clarke? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, help me up would you?"

When Lexa gives her her hand Clarke uses all her force to pull her down, making sure to cast a wordless cushioning charm to ease her fall.

They end up side by side and Lexa looks surprised but it is quickly replaced by something else entirely. She throws her head back and laughs. It goes on and on and Clarke makes sure to record every second of it.

While they were busy chasing each other snow had begun to fall again and Clarke props herself on her elbow and watches with wonder this new side of Lexa. Snow has melted in her hair making it almost black, her cheeks are flushed pink either from the cold or from all that running around and the light reflected on the snow makes the little flecks of gold and brown in her eyes all that more noticeable, their green even clearer. Lexa stops laughing only to smile at her and this time it’s a full smile, rows of white teeth visible.

Something in Clarke’s chest clenches and she moves a few inches closer and watches as Lexa does the same. Later she won’t be able to say who closes that last inch but she would like to think that it was both of them, that the incredible syntony she feels when she is with Lexa affects them both the same.

Its sweeter and softer than her dreams, Lexas lips incredibly plump and a little chaffed from the cold. They kiss until she feels like she is flying and they are both breathless but when they separate and she opens her eyes she sees that there's a tear making its way down her cheek, her lips trembling with something that looks like grief.

Before Clarke can say anything Lexa shoots up to her feet says that she is sorry and runs.

……...  
After two weeks Clarke is forced to acknowledge that Lexa is avoiding her. She never answers the door when she knocks, doesn’t reply to any of her owls and goes as far as sending Gustus to make her deliveries to the delight of the students.

She left her trunks on her door and opened her mouth to say that she is sorry but wasn’t able to force the words out. Lexa would probably hear the lie anyway.

She is sorry that she made her uncomfortable and at night she is hit with the terribly thought that she somehow coerced Lexa into it but she can’t find it in herself for her feelings.

There was a hole in her chest that she didn’t even know was there until she filled it with Lexa and now that she is gone it seems not a second passes where it doesn’t clench in pain. She would say she feels like a lovesick teenager but it’s even worse because Clarke has responsibilities and has to put on a good face and get on with life even if she feels like staying in bed on her pyjamas.

The full moon passes and she wonders how Lexa fared but doesn’t send her any more owls. 

Two days later, however, a familiar owl taps her window and Clarke almost breaks it in her haste to open it. Helena sweeps into her chambers as majestic as ever and lifts a leg imperiously. 

Clarke takes the letter and opens it with care. Inside there’s a note from Lexa asking her to meet up her up near Hagrid’s cabin in the morning.

"What the hell," she asks Helena who only nips her finger affectionately.

Clarke still goes, telling herself she needs closure.

Lexa, she feels a pang in her heart, looks exhausted. There are shadows under her eyes and her hair is all tangled.

"Clarke." Her name still rolls of Lexa’s mouth just the same clicking on the k and rolling in the r and she wants to hex something. 

"Lexa" She tries to keep her emotions out of her tone but is pretty sure she fails." What did you want to talk about?"

"I- not here. I have to show you something. In the forest."

"What? Look, Lexa, I cannot just go traipsing around the woods whenever you feel like it."

"Please" Lexa has never asked her for anything so she lets herself be led through the woods.

They walk for the better part of an hour before they reach a large clearing. There are Thestrals grazing around the biggest number Clarke has ever seen.

"I met Costia here for the first time." Lexa sounds distant. 

Clarke is about to ask her who Costia is but then it hits her. The picture on Lexa’s mantle, a gorgeous black girl with freckles all over her face smiling and winking at whoever was holding the camera. 

"She was over here feeding the Thestrals and taking notes like a madwoman. She had been bothering the centaurs so Titus sent me to talk to her. She worked out that I was a werewolf after about a week and tracked me down and started to ask me all kinds of questions, not only about werewolves mind you, did I think the Unicorn population was increasing or decreasing and had I ever seen a dragon on the forest or what was the weirdest animal I had ever seen. She laughed for forever when I said it was her. She convinced me to go on a date and made me watch the shittiest werewolf movies and when they did something particularly ridiculous she pointed and said that was me. When she kissed me a few dates after I accused her of only wanting me because I was one of the creatures she was so fascinated about. She told me I was only a creature for a few nights a month so I wasn’t all that cool." Lexas has tears leaking from her eyes but she doesn't bother with holding them back "Titus tried to force me to stop seeing her especially because she was Muggle-born and kicked me out when I refused. We lived in a shitty flat in a shitty neighbourhood in London but I had never been happier. I started building us her dream cottage right in the forest right with all the creatures she so loved, had to fight with Titus some more so he would leave us alone but I knew that it would be worth it. I had to move so it would be easier to build it. Voldemort rose again and I told her we should leave but Costia wanted to fight for her rights and of those like her and so we stayed I rushed to finish the house so she would be safer but I wasn’t fast enough. One day I came home and there were… pieces of her strew all over our apartment that had been blown up. The only piece of her that was whole was her head and even there I could see she was tortured. They made an example of her you see, a muggle-born openly dating a Werewolf and daring to live her life as she pleased. I tracked her killer down. I made her an example too you see. Her name was Nia Kendrick."

Clarke remembers reading about both those deaths. Nia’s pieces scatted on various influential pureblood houses.

"They never knew it was me. That’s why I’m not rotting away in Azkaban." She finally tears her eyes from the Thestrals." So you see that’s why I can't be with you, Clarke. I am a monster for more than being a werewolf."

Clarke just moves closer until Lexa is backed into a tree." You’re not a monster Lexa. You’re not the only killer here."

Lexa sucks in a breath and Clarke knows she hears the truth in her words. 

"I want you just as you are Lexa. I love you." And its also the truth. Clarke loves her like she never thought she would be able to love anyone." I love you" She says again.

Lexa kisses her and every time they come up for air she says it again and wills Lexa to know it, not just as truth, she tries to imprint it with her hands and lips and words. I love you and I love you and I love you. 

That night Clarke dreams of pointing her wand up and shouting the spell as strongly as she could, of praying for them all to be dead. Of the awful feeling on the pitch of her stomach when she removed a bone-white mask only to see a boy much younger than she. How in death the death eaters didn’t look all that scary anymore.

She leaves Lexa’s cottage the next day and goes to the Headmistress office and asks for special leave. She calls in every favour owed to her and owns some herself but she tracks Roan Kendrick to his hiding place in France.

He looks afraid when he sees her and has to restrain his sister Ontari when she tries to hex her.

He doesn’t have tea so he offers her Frewhiskey and Clarke accepts because this conversation will probably require it. It burns her throat when she downs it and Clarke is glad.

"Your mom killed a girl named Costia" Roan winces "I hear she kept mementoes of all her kills."

Between confessions, they made to each other in her bed Lexa had told her that between their apartment being blown up and their cottage smashed the only physical reminder she has of Costia is that one single picture in its place of honour. There is no family to beg for others Costia being an orphan and all her closest friends are either dead or missing.

Roan nods and leaves the room. From her perch on a kitchen counter, Ontari glowers at her. Her sleeves are folded and she cab see the scarification their mom had put there in the form of the death mark. The tattoo itself is gone but Nia was cruel even to her own kids.

Roan comes back with a large box and Clarke has to control her urge to retch.

He removes the lid. Inside there are neatly labelled plastic bags. She forces herself to look at the names. She recognizes many of them but there are many more that she doesn't. Muggle names and wizard names and goblin names and more. Clarke knows they will haunt her for a long time and Clarke also knows that she will let them. 

"From time to time I try to track them all down but most are just gone. I’ve also tried to track their families down but they are also often all dead." Roan sounds lost.

"Voldemort and his followers sure were through" Ontari hisses at the Dark Lord’s name but Roan only nods.

He rummages around a little more and when his hand stills she knows he’s found it. Clarke forces her hands not to shake when she grabs it.

Inside there’s a silver pendant. She removes it from its cover and sees that it’s of the kind you can open. She decides not to, only casting a few spells to make sure it contains nothing dangerous.

She serves herself another shot and bids them goodbye. Before the door is fully closed she can see Roan hugging a shaking Ontari.

She turns around and goes back home. 

The only way is forward.

………  
Lexa looks guarded when Clarke shows up. 

"Cla-" She doesn’t let Lexa finish, she throws herself at her and wraps her hands around her and lets herself break.

Lexa just wraps her arms more tightly around her and lifts her. She sits them down near the fireplace and rocks Clarke back and forth.

Once she has calmed down Clarke explains where she went. At each word Lexa tenses more and by the ens of her spiel Clarke is convinced Lexas back will crack from it all. She gently sets Clarke on the couch and stands up.

"I wish you hadn’t done that Clarke. If I lost you too I’m not sure I could- I’m not sure I would want to" she cuts herself off but Clarke knows what she means.

Clarke found a reason to carry on on her work and her parents and her remaining friends but Lexa is different, Lexa is special. If she were to die Clarke would force herself to survive but she is sure that it would be only that. Surviving. 

She has known Lexa fo a little over a year. The logic part of her brain tells her that that shouldn't be enough, that there’s much they don’t know about each other. But Clarke is not sure there’s any space for logic on her heart. 

When she is with Lexa she can breathe easily and they understand each other in an almost ludicrous level. 

She lives for Lexas small smiles and short laughs, for the way her eyes become soft when she looks at her, for the way she says her name and the way she takes care of her plants and her house. The careful, cautious way she touches her and the pressure of her fingers in her skin when she forgets herself.

Lexa is complex and moody and their lives together will not be easy but Clarke wants all of it, for better or for worse.

If Lexa feels even a silver of what Clarke feels for her she understands what her death would do to her.

But once again Clarke is not sorry " I won’t do it again," she says instead because that much is true.

Lexa glares at her but says nothing more. Clarke hesitates a little but takes the pendant out of her pocket and holds it out for Lexa.

She sees recognition bleed into her eyes and raises a steady hand out. She holds the necklace like its something sacred. She brings it closer to her nose and lets a mournful sound.

"It still smells a little like her."It breaks Clarke`s heart.

She opens the pendant and looks confused.

"What is it?" Lexa holds it out. Clarke stands up and gets closer. Swiming around the pendant there’s a silver shimmering substance.

It takes Clarke a few seconds but she finally recognizes it. When she tells Lexa she looks confused.

"A memory?"

Clarke suggests that they owl McGonagall as Clarke knows she has a pensive in her office. It’s late but the headmistress promptly answers and they rush to the castle.

McGonagall is wearing robes over a nightgown and for the first time, Clarke sees her with her hair down and without her spectacles. 

The pensive is already on top of her desk.

"May I know what this is about?"

Lexa holds the pendant up "I’m not sure. Clarke says its a memory. Costia`s."

Understanding dawns over MacGoanagalls weathered face.

"May I?" She gestures with he wand to the pendant and Lexa nods.

McGonagall gently touches her wand to the memory and brings it to the pensive. 

"Whenever you’re ready you only have to lower your head into it. Would you like me and Clarke to leave?"

Lexa hesitates a little bit but nods without looking at them all her attention fixed on the pensive.

Minerva nods and leads Clarke gently to her chambers. They sit down and wait.

"What do you know about Costia?" She asks.

"Only that she was Muggleborn and loved and was loved back by Lexa. That she was brave and wanted to live in a cottage in the forbidden forest. That she was brave."

McGonagall smiles sadly "That sounds like her. I only wished you children didn’t have to be so brave so soon." 

She tells Clarke some more about Costia. That she was a Hufflepuff and that she got detention every other month for wandering off into the forest. Little snippets from her life in Hogwarts.

Clark wonders how she copes. McGonagall that went through two wars and while she doesn’t know much about her personal life Clarke knows she cares about deeply for all the students.

They hear footsteps and turn to look at Lexa. She looks pale and shaken but there’s a new light in her eyes.

"Thank you for everything Minerva. Would you mind we left right now?"

"Not at all." Lexa surprises them all by darting and hugging the headmistress. Minerva pats her awkwardly on the back.

Lexa leads her out of the castle but doesn’t move in the direction of the forest, instead, they go to the lake.

Its quite peaceful, only the sounds of the castle grounds. In the distance, she can only see the pale gleam of Dumbledores resting place.

Lexa lets go of her hand and Clarke immediately feels colder.

When she doesn’t say anything Clarke clears her throat "I- can I ask what she said?"

"I will tell you some other day I promise. I will say she gave me some advice and that I plan to follow through with it." Lexa moves closer and grabs her hands, pressing a delicate kiss to each of their backs. Clarkes unconsciously lets out a sound that is pretty much a sob "I love you, Clarke Griffin. I think I’ve loved you pretty much from day one but I was too scared to say or do anything. I love you, I love you and I love you."

They never tire of saying it to each other, for the rest of their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was supposed to be a fluffy one but became pretty dark in the end? I also wanted to limit the number of words so I'm working on a Lexa POV.


End file.
